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Navigating Social Media During Your Separation

Wendy Norman — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 13:27:26 +0000

A Compassionate Guide to Manage Social Media During Separation

Going through a separation is one of life’s most challenging transitions. During this vulnerable time, you might find yourself reaching for your phone, wanting to share your feelings, seek support from friends, or simply distract yourself by scrolling through your feeds. I understand that impulse completely. Social media has become such an integral part of how we connect with our community and process our emotions.

However, as a divorce and mediation attorney who has worked with countless families in Jacksonville, I want to share some gentle but important guidance about social media use during your separation. What you post online today can significantly impact your divorce proceedings, custody arrangements, and ultimately, your fresh start tomorrow.

Why Social Media Matters in Divorce Cases

In today’s digital world, social media posts have become valuable evidence in divorce and custody proceedings. Attorneys routinely review Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and other platforms when building cases. That photo you posted, that check-in at a restaurant, or that seemingly innocent comment can be screenshot, saved, and potentially used in court.

I share this not to frighten you, but to help you protect yourself during an already difficult time. Knowledge is power, and understanding how social media can affect your case allows you to make informed decisions.

The Do’s: Healthy Social Media Habits During Separation

Do Take a Break (If Possible)

The healthiest option, if you can manage it, is to take a complete break from social media during your separation. I know this feels impossible in our connected world, but consider it a form of self-care. Stepping away from social media can give you space to heal, reduce stress, and eliminate the temptation to post something you might regret.

Even a temporary break of a few weeks or months can make a tremendous difference in your emotional wellbeing and legal position.

Do Adjust Your Privacy Settings

If stepping away completely isn’t realistic for you, immediately review and strengthen your privacy settings on all platforms. Make your accounts private, limit who can see your posts, and be selective about who you accept as friends or followers during this time.

However, please remember that privacy settings aren’t foolproof. Screenshots can be taken and shared. Mutual friends may have access to your content. Think of privacy settings as a helpful layer of protection, not an impenetrable shield.

Do Think Before You Post

Before sharing anything online, pause and ask yourself these questions:

Would I be comfortable with my spouse’s attorney seeing this?
Could this be misinterpreted or taken out of context?
Would I want a judge to see this when making decisions about my children or finances?
Am I posting this from a place of hurt, anger, or revenge?

If you hesitate on any of these questions, it’s best not to post.

Do Keep Communication About Your Children Positive

If you do post about your children, keep it positive, general, and infrequent. Celebrate their achievements if you must share, but avoid posting details about custody schedules, your co-parenting challenges, or anything that could be construed as disparaging the other parent.

Your children deserve privacy during this transition, and judges look favorably on parents who protect their children’s dignity and emotional wellbeing.

Do Document Concerning Posts by Your Spouse

If your spouse posts something concerning, threatening, or relevant to your case (such as evidence of hidden assets, substance use, or inappropriate behavior), take screenshots with dates and timestamps visible. Share these with your attorney, but don’t engage with the posts publicly or respond in kind.

Do Talk to Your Attorney First

Before making any significant social media decisions, including whether to change your relationship status or remove photos, consult with your attorney. Sometimes these actions can be misinterpreted or create legal complications you didn’t anticipate.

The Don’ts: What to Avoid on Social Media

Don’t Post About Your Case

This is perhaps the most important guideline: resist the urge to discuss your divorce, your spouse, the legal proceedings, or your feelings about the separation on social media. What feels like venting to supportive friends can appear very differently in a courtroom.

Complaints about your spouse, the legal process, attorneys, or the court system can damage your credibility and create the impression that you’re difficult, unstable, or vindictive.

Don’t Badmouth Your Spouse

No matter how hurt or angry you feel, do not post negative comments, accusations, or complaints about your spouse on social media. This includes indirect posts like “Some people just never change” or sharing memes about bad partners.

These posts can be used to argue that you’re hostile, that you’re attempting to alienate your children from the other parent, or that you’re not interested in peaceful co-parenting. In custody matters especially, judges want to see that you can communicate respectfully with your child’s other parent.

Don’t Share Details About New Relationships

If you’ve started dating someone new, keep that relationship entirely off social media until your divorce is finalized. Photos with a new partner, romantic check-ins, or relationship status changes can complicate property division, affect alimony considerations, and impact custody decisions.

Even if you’ve been separated for a while, the appearance of a new relationship can trigger strong emotional reactions that make settlement negotiations more difficult.

Don’t Post Photos or Updates That Contradict Your Legal Claims

Be mindful of how your posts might appear in the context of your legal case. If you’ve claimed financial hardship, vacation photos and expensive purchases create credibility problems. If you’re seeking custody based on being the more available parent, photos of frequent nights out may contradict that position.

This doesn’t mean you need to stop living your life, but it does mean you should keep those moments private rather than broadcasting them online.

Don’t Delete Everything

While it might be tempting to delete old posts, photos, or even entire accounts, don’t do this without consulting your attorney first. Deleting social media content after separation or during divorce proceedings can be considered destruction of evidence (called “spoliation”), which can result in serious legal consequences.

Courts can impose sanctions, and opposing counsel can argue that you deleted posts because they contained damaging information. Even if the deleted content was completely innocent, the act of deletion itself looks suspicious.

Don’t Forget About All Your Accounts

When I talk about social media, I mean all of it. Don’t forget about LinkedIn, dating apps, Venmo (which can show spending patterns and social connections), private messaging apps, Discord servers, Reddit accounts, and any other platforms where you have a digital presence.

Your digital footprint is larger than you might realize, and thorough attorneys will look everywhere.

Don’t Assume Anything Is Truly Private

Even private messages, closed groups, or direct messages aren’t completely private. Screenshots happen. People share information. Account security can be breached. Private communications have a way of becoming public, especially during contentious divorces.

Operate under the assumption that anything you type could potentially be seen by others, including the court.

Special Considerations for Parents

If you have children, social media requires extra care and thoughtfulness. Here are some additional guidelines:

Protect your children’s privacy. This is a confusing, difficult time for them. They don’t need details of the divorce shared with your entire social network. Avoid posting about custody schedules, exchanges, or challenges you’re having with your co-parent.

Never involve your children in social media conflicts. Don’t ask them to pose for photos that make statements about the divorce, don’t share their opinions about the other parent, and don’t let them see you posting negatively about their other parent.

Be aware that your children (and their friends) may see your posts. Even if you think your accounts are private from your kids, assume they’ll eventually see what you post. Would you want them to read those words about their other parent? Would those posts help them feel secure and loved?

Model healthy digital citizenship. Your children are watching how you handle this difficult situation. Showing restraint, dignity, and respect online teaches them valuable lessons about conflict resolution and emotional regulation.

The Emotional Challenge of Social Media Silence

I understand that staying silent on social media when you’re hurting can feel incredibly isolating. Social media has become how many of us process emotions, celebrate victories, and seek comfort during hard times. Being told to step back from that support system feels unfair when you’re already dealing with so much.

If you’re struggling with this, here are some alternative ways to find support:

Reach out privately. Call or text trusted friends and family members directly. Face-to-face coffee dates or phone conversations can provide much deeper support than Facebook comments ever could.

Join a support group. Many communities, including Jacksonville, have divorce support groups where you can share your experiences in a confidential setting with people who truly understand what you’re going through.

Work with a therapist. A counselor can provide a safe, confidential space to process all the emotions you’re experiencing without any risk to your legal case.

Journal privately. Writing out your feelings can provide the same release as posting online, without any of the legal risks. Keep a private journal where you can be completely honest about your emotions.

A Note About Your Spouse’s Social Media Activity

You might be wondering whether you should monitor your spouse’s social media during your separation. While it’s natural to be curious, obsessively checking your spouse’s accounts isn’t healthy for your emotional wellbeing.

That said, if you happen to notice posts that are relevant to your case (such as evidence of hidden income, inappropriate behavior, or concerning statements), document them and share them with your attorney. Just don’t make surveillance your full-time job. It will only prolong your pain and make it harder to move forward.

Looking Toward Your Fresh Start

I know these guidelines might feel restrictive during a time when you’re already dealing with so many limitations and losses. But please trust me when I tell you that this temporary restraint is an investment in your future.

The separation period is temporary. Your divorce case will eventually conclude. But what you post online can have lasting consequences for your settlement, your custody arrangement, your professional reputation, and your relationships with your children.

By being thoughtful and careful with your social media presence now, you’re protecting your interests and setting yourself up for the best possible outcome. You’re also modeling grace under pressure, taking the high road, and showing your children how to handle difficult situations with dignity.

How I Can Help

As a divorce and mediation attorney serving Jacksonville families, I understand how overwhelming this process can be. Social media is just one of many areas where you need to be careful during your separation. I’m here to guide you through all aspects of your divorce with compassion, clarity, and practical advice tailored to your unique situation.

If you have questions about your specific circumstances, whether they involve social media, custody, property division, or any other aspect of your separation, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can create a strategy that protects your interests while helping you move toward a brighter future.

Remember, this difficult season is temporary. With the right guidance and support, you will get through this and emerge stronger on the other side.

Wendy Norman is a divorce and mediation attorney serving Jacksonville, Florida, and surrounding areas. She is committed to helping families navigate separation and divorce with compassion, dignity, and practical legal guidance.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, visit normanlawjax.com or contact our office directly.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every divorce case is unique, and the information provided here may not apply to your specific situation. Please consult with a qualified attorney to discuss your individual circumstances.

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December Link Roundup – Divorcing Like A Grown-Up (And Co-Parent Like One, Too)

Wendy Norman — Wed, 20 Dec 2017 05:43:24 +0000

Divorcing Like a Grown-up

A recent Huffpost article discusses How To Divorce Like A Grown-Up (And Co-Parent Like One, Too). There is some good advice about amicable separation and tips along the divorce process that might make it a smoother transition for some couples. My favorite portion reiterates to parents to communicate to their children that the split isn’t their fault and to be sure neither parent uses them as leverage.

Surviving Divorce

In this TEDx Talk, clinical psychologist and Associate Professor of Psychology David Sbarra discusses “Surviving Divorce.” He focuses on three areas and provides unique insight on coping with separation:

• Self-Kindness
• Mindfulness
• Common Humility

Tracking Your Child

The third link I wanted to share discusses Privacy Rights. Namely, GPS tracking to monitor children. As we’ve seen in all aspects of law, technology typically proceeds legal discussion and development. The article touches on the fact that a parent doesn’t need the consent of the child to monitor them via cell phone/GPS tracking software. Apps like Find My Friends allow you to keep track of your child, but he/she knows the app is on his/her phone.

I think we’ll see “informed consent” discussed in greater lengths as this topic proceeds through the court system (and likely will vary by state). It will be interesting to see how this plays into discussions of Parental Rights and Grandparent Rights moving forward. Read the full article here:
Privacy Rights of Children: GPS Tracking For Parents to Monitor Their Children

Happy Holidays From Norman Law

I’d be remiss if I didn’t take the time to thank the rest of my Family Law Team for their hard work and dedication to our practice and our clients. Thank you for all you do and for taking the time to provide our clients the best resources possible. Happy Holidays to our Jacksonville family and friends.

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4 Tips to Follow When Texting Your Ex During a Divorce

Wendy Norman — Thu, 28 Jul 2016 03:44:57 +0000

Texting your Ex During a Divorce: Tips to Follow

For couples who have tried to work out their relationship, but have decided that a divorce is the best way to proceed, they will find that there are several pieces of evidence that can be used against them once they go to court. Did you know that text messages are considered admissible evidence? This means that if one party loses his or her temper and texts the other party, the text messages may be used as evidence in court. In many cases, especially when children are involved, text messages can affect the final decision made by the Judge regarding time-sharing (custody), alimony, distribution of assets and debts, etc.

When you are going through a divorce, you must be aware of what you put in a text or email, as well as what you say to the other party in person or over the telephone. For this reason, we have a few tips to help you in making sure you do not put something in a text that can be used against you later in court. These tips also apply after you are divorced. The main goal of these tips is to keep you from impulsively saying something to your ex or soon to be ex that can come back and hurt you later.

4 Tips to Text your Soon to be Ex-Spouse

Always take the time to think about what you are texting, never send a text while you are feeling angry, hurt or frustrated. If this means stepping away from your phone for an hour or two to get your emotions under control, then do so.
If your ex is texting you rude, hateful, or nasty comments, be sure to keep the texts saved in your phone, and do not respond in a rude, hateful or nasty way. Do not engage in a back and forth argument via text message!
It is best to limit your texts with your ex to information about children, dates that need to be remembered and the like. There are some couples who text freely, but in these cases, the divorce is most often amicable and there are no emotional issues.
It is not only your texts to your ex that can be used against you in court, but any text that you send to anyone. Thus, avoid texting anything about your soon to be ex to anyone and basically keep the subject off limits.

Controlling your Emotions

Many lawyers recommend that clients simply stop texting the other party entirely and even that they stop posting to social media in general. If you are going to text, or put things out there on social media, make sure you are not saying anything that you would not want the Judge to see in court. Keeping your emotions under control is a must. While one of the above tips was to walk away and stop texting if you feel that your anger and emotions are getting out of hand, we have a few more in-depth tips that can help.

Try breathing exercises. Slowly count to 10 and be sure that you are taking deep breaths to help calm yourself while you are counting.
Take a moment to listen to a song that soothes you. You will be amazed at how well soothing music can calm emotions.
Take a walk and leave your phone at home. Physical exercise has been shown to be great when it comes to helping to release anger in a normal and healthy manner.
Go to your ‘happy place’ when you start to feel angry. This may mean sitting in your living room and imagining yourself sitting on the beach or even floating in the pool. Either way, allow this happy place to make you feel less angry.

For those who are going through a divorce, we want you to realize that your texts could become one of the main ways your soon to be ex gains the upper hand. Here at Norman Law, we advise our clients against texting their exes, unless they are positive that they can keep their calm. Divorce is not something to take lightly, but if it is unavoidable, then be sure you are taking actions to ensure you are getting a fair divorce.

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Social Media and Your Divorce

Wendy Norman — Fri, 02 Oct 2015 17:58:47 +0000

How Social Media Can Affect Your Divorce

Going through a divorce can be very difficult. In most cases, both spouses are angry. They are angry the marriage is ending, they want someone to blame, and in many cases they may take this anger out on the other spouse via social media. This is a terrible thing to do, and whatever you post on social media can be used against you at a later date.

Social Media Can Impact Settlement & Custody

Almost everyone has seen posts online, some even by people you associate with, that are derogatory towards the other party in the divorce. It could be one spouse putting the other down and blaming them for the divorce. There have even been instances in which a spouse has threatened physical harm to their soon-to-be ex. These remarks are often made in anger, and in an attempt to convince everyone the other person is the wrong-doer, or to try to ruin the other person’s reputation.

There are three main ways social media can affect your divorce:

• It can affect the settlement of your divorce
• It can affect the custody arrangement in a divorce with children
• There may even be legal ramifications such as jail time

Avoiding the Social Media Black Hole

When a divorce is just starting, most clients are advised to avoid social media at all costs, or to limit the use of social media (including Facebook). It may be easy to follow your soon-to-be ex online and see what he or she is posting, but you should not do it. Chances are, it will only make you angrier, and may affect your judgment. A few other helpful tips for dealing with social media while going through a divorce include:

•Do not post any pictures or comments that could show you as being immature, neglectful towards your children or unfit in general
•Do not flaunt a new boyfriend or girlfriend via these posts, even if you are nearing the end of your divorce
•Ensure that family and friends are not tagging you in posts that are questionable, as this can still be held against you in court

While social media is a great tool for staying in touch with people and also a great form of entertainment, during a divorce it can cause divorce to become more difficult. It can also result in bitterness towards your ex-spouse. For those who are facing a divorce, Wendy Norman has been working in family law, including divorce, for many years in Jacksonville, Florida. As an attorney who has seen the ramifications of social media on divorces, she can best advise you on how to use social media while getting your divorce.

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