When can you ask the Court for an emergency child pick-up order? If the other parent takes your child for timesharing and does not return the child, what can you do? What are your options if the child is taken out of the State of Florida?

An emergency pick-up order is an order signed by the Court that directs law enforcement to take your child from the person who has physical possession of the child and deliver the child to your custody. The process is started by filing a sworn motion and you must attach a certified birth certificate. If you have a judgment establishing paternity or a court order showing you have legal custody, you attach a certified copy to your motion.

Florida Attorneys That Help With Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction

Compliance with the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) is a key to ensuring that Florida has jurisdiction. See Section 61.514, Fla. Stat. Florida must be the child’s home state for at least 6 months before the commencement of the proceeding, but there is an exception for emergencies. In Perez v. Giledes, 912 So.2d 32 (4th DCA 2005), the Court ruled that Florida could take jurisdiction to grant a mother an emergency child pick-up order allowing her to retrieve an out of wedlock child living with the father in Georgia. The mother was a Florida resident when the child was born, the child was born in Florida, and the mother returned to Florida after living in Georgia for a year or more between the birth of the child and the time of the order being entered. The father argued that the child had lived in Georgia for over 6 months because he had moved with the child and concealed his address. Because the mother had significant ties to Florida, she was allowed to have the child back and Florida had jurisdiction.

Navigating the rules and law surrounding jurisdiction and emergency pick-up orders can be complicated. You need an experienced Jacksonville divorce attorney to assist you. Contact the Norman Law, P.A. for a consultation.

On A Spouse Texting a Co-Worker and Lying About It

We’ve addressed the topic of text messages to an ex-spouse in a previous blog post. Here’s a question posted to Lori Gottlieb of The Atlantic regarding a spouse texting a co-worker that addresses some insightful tips about relationships: Dear Therapist: My Husband Keeps Texting With a Female ‘Friend’

Fostering Friendships and Relationships

Maria Popova of Brain Pickings provides a Sunday newsletter on topics ranging from philosophy to relationships. Her recent post, Pioneering Feminist Philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft on Loneliness, Friendship, and the Courage of Unwavering Affection tackles some important issues surrounding friendship. There is some great relationship advice here too (quoting Mary Wollstonecraft): “Affection requires a firmer foundation than sympathy, and few people have a principle of action sufficiently stable to produce rectitude of feeling; for in spite of all the arguments I have heard to justify deviations from duty, I am persuaded that even the most spontaneous sensations are more under the direction of principle than weak people are willing to allow.”

Preparing Your Kid For Kindergarten

From researching and asking questions about your child’s school, to helpful books; we found this article from Taylor Pittman of HuffPost helpful. Preparing for the first day of kindergarten can be stressful for parents and scary for kids. Her insight is helpful and calming. Highlighting patient support from 7 parents who’ve done it, the article provides good insight: How To Prepare Your Kid For Kindergarten, From 7 Parents Who’ve Been There

A Vaccine for Depression?

We don’t typically address depression and mental illness outside of a patient/healthcare provider realm, but understanding each other is paramount to building and maintaining healthy relationships. Similar stresses we associate with divorce statistics (finances, lack of communication) are tied to depression and our understanding of dealing with and treating it, can be helpful in maintaining happy relationships. The article discusses Ketamine’s remarkable effect bolsters a new theory of mental illness but touches on a larger understanding of depression as well.

Depression is the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting 30 percent of Americans at some point in their lives. But despite half a century of research, ubiquitous advertising, and blockbuster sales, antidepressant drugs just don’t work very well. They treat depression as if it were caused by a chemical imbalance: Pump in more of one key ingredient, or sop up another, and you will have fixed the problem.

I’m a Jacksonville Divorce Lawyer located downtown and serving Duval residents for over 15 years. Please feel free to call my office at 904.306.9926 with questions concerning your family law matter.

A recent Huffpost article discusses How To Divorce Like A Grown-Up (And Co-Parent Like One, Too). There is some good advice about amicable separation and tips along the divorce process that might make it a smoother transition for some couples. My favorite portion reiterates to parents to communicate to their children that the split isn’t their fault and to be sure neither parent uses them as leverage.

Surviving Divorce

In this TEDx Talk, clinical psychologist and Associate Professor of Psychology David Sbarra discusses “Surviving Divorce.” He focuses on three areas and provides unique insight on coping with separation:

• Self-Kindness
• Mindfulness
• Common Humility

Tracking Your Child

The third link I wanted to share discusses Privacy Rights. Namely, GPS tracking to monitor children. As we’ve seen in all aspects of law, technology typically proceeds legal discussion and development. The article touches on the fact that a parent doesn’t need the consent of the child to monitor them via cell phone/GPS tracking software. Apps like Find My Friends allow you to keep track of your child, but he/she knows the app is on his/her phone.

I think we’ll see “informed consent” discussed in greater lengths as this topic proceeds through the court system (and likely will vary by state). It will be interesting to see how this plays into discussions of Parental Rights and Grandparent Rights moving forward. Read the full article here:
Privacy Rights of Children: GPS Tracking For Parents to Monitor Their Children

Happy Holidays From Norman Law

I’d be remiss if I didn’t take the time to thank the rest of my Family Law Team for their hard work and dedication to our practice and our clients. Thank you for all you do and for taking the time to provide our clients the best resources possible. Happy Holidays to our Jacksonville family and friends.

Divorce is a reality that profoundly affects the lives of each family member, children and parents alike. A variety of deeply emotional wounds may be created before, during and after a divorce. During this experience, the emotions and needs of the children should be treated with utmost care. It is a parent’s duty to put their children’s needs before their own and try to find ways to lessen the impact a divorce will have on their children. Parents should focus on making the process as amicable as possible.

Taking Grandchildren on Vacation

Although going through a divorce is without a doubt very draining emotionally, couples can find ways deal with it in a way that is good for them and their children. An example would be taking some time off and spending time away from the children. Grandparents can take the children for vacation in order to distract them from the problems their parents are facing. Grandparents are a good choice because they provide the stability and the reassurance the children need, along with the comfort of family.

Such a break is also very important for the divorcing couple because they can take this time to concentrate on the issues which need to be resolved in the divorce without having to worrying about how things may be affecting their children and trying to shield them from conflicts. With the children being on vacation with grandparents, the divorcing couple can focus on the divorce, given them the time to expedite the divorce proceedings. This will also ensure that the children do not see or hear any arguments or negativity between their parents.

If the grandparents are available and willing, some time away from the divorce is beneficial for both the children and the parents, and it is an option divorcing couples should consider. This will give the parents some time and space to make rational decisions, which will help them and their children through the divorce process with the least amount of emotional impact as possible.

Here is a list of attractions and ideas for simple getaways in North Florida:

• Camping and RV Parks listed via VisitJacksonville.com
• Taking a road trip through North Florida via Travel & Leisure
• A visit to the Natural Springs near North Florida
• Coastal Georgia list of activities and attractions
• If you have a little more travel time, here are 5 Secret Islands off the coast of Florida

Filing for a restraining order (injunction for protection) in Duval County was designed to be a straightforward process that does not require the assistance of an attorney. Injunctions for protection, commonly referred to as restraining orders are legal devices that can ultimately involve jail to protect individuals who have been victims of violence or are fearful of becoming a victim. Injunctions are issued when the court agrees that the person seeking the injunction is a victim of violence or reasonably believes he/she is in imminent danger of becoming a victim of violence. The court then restrains the other party from coming into contact with the victim and/or coming near the victim.

Filing a Petition for Injuntion at the Courthouse

In order to gain access to these protections you must go down to the courthouse and file a Petition for Injunction. The paperwork for the petition is fairly straightforward and in most cases does not require the assistance of an attorney. Staff at the courthouse can assist with completing the Petition for Injunction. The process is relatively ease so that people who cannot afford to hire an attorney can still seek protection from violence. That said, many people seeking an injunction do hire a family law attorney to assist them, either with the hearing on the Petition for Injunction or for a divorce case that is also needed.
There are four types of injunctions/restraining orders in Florida, issued for: domestic violence; dating violence; sexual violence; and repeat violence.

You will need to select which of these applies to you and complete the petition that applies to your situation.

· A domestic violence petition is used when you and the respondent have been living together as a family, whether married or not, or lived together as a family in the past, and/or if you have a child or children together.

· A dating violence petition is for those who have been dating but have not lived together within the last 6 months.

· A sexual violence petition is used for those who have been a victim of sexual assault or abuse (you are not required to file criminal charges).

· A repeat violence petition is for any of the other types of stalking or violence between friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc. In order for it to be considered repeat violence, there must be at least two incidents within the last six months.

What’s Included in the Petition Requirements?

The petition requires information like petitioner (you), the respondent (the individual you want restrained), addresses, place of employment, children’s names (if applicable), and a description of the respondent so that police may find him or her. There will also be a paragraph detailing the reasons why you are seeking the petition. It must be detailed, contain the nature of the relationship between you and the individual, and the date or dates of the incident(s). You must be as detailed as possible when explaining the situation because a judge will review the petition and decide whether or not to enter a Temporary Injunction based on this information.

Temporary Restraining Order Injunctions

After reviewing the petition, the judge may or may not grant the petition and enter a Temporary Injunction. A Temporary Injunction is just that – a temporary court order that sets out what the type of contact the respondent may or may not have with the petitioner. If the petition is granted on a temporary basis, the judge will then issue a Temporary Injunction against the respondent that will be in place for 14 days.

The judge will then set a hearing 14 days from the date the judge signs the Temporary Injunction, so that a full hearing can take place and both parties can testify and present evidence. The respondent will be served with a copy of the petition, along with the Temporary Injunction. Once he or she is served, the terms and conditions of the Temporary Injunction are in place and he or she must comply with them. If, however, the respondent cannot be located and served prior to the hearing, the temporary injunction will be extended for another 14 days. It is important to remember that the Temporary Injunction is not enforceable until the respondent has been served with it by law enforcement. That is why it is important to put the correct contact information for the respondent in the petition so that he or she can be found and served. Filing a restraining order in Jacksonville, for example, where there is a large population can be problematic, as it is sometimes difficult for police to easily locate the individual.

If the respondent is served with the petition and Temporary Injunction, you will need to use the 14 day period to prepare for the hearing. At this point, you may wish to hire an attorney to represent you at the hearing. Your attorney will help you better understand what you will need for the hearing. It is generally better to have everything/everyone you might need: witnesses; video evidence; phone records; text messages; social media posts; and anything else that would be evidence of abuse and violence. Your attorney knows the procedures needed to collect and verify evidence that the court will require and can prepare you and your witnesses to testify. Evidence must be presented which supports the allegations in the petition for injunction. Usually, the court will not want to hear “new” evidence or evidence other than what is contained in the petition for injunction, which is why it is so important to include everything in petition.

In general, the injunction procedure is very straightforward and completing and filing the petition can be done without an attorney. While it is not necessary to work with an attorney to file a petition for injunction in Duval County, you should strongly consider having an attorney representing you at the hearing after the Temporary Injunction is issued by the court. The outcome of the hearing is extremely important and can have a significant effect on your safety and well-being, so if you do not feel confident on your own then by all means seek help. When your life and the lives of your family members are at stake there is no reason not to ask for help.

For more information on how to file for an injunction directly in Duval County, please visit http://www2.duvalclerk.com/departments/domestic-violence/ or call the injunction clerk at (904) 255-2210.

For this or any other family law related question, please call my office at 904.306.9926 to schedule an appointment or contact us online.

It’s no secret to Florida residents that our state has the highest population of residents over 65. With such a large percentage of our community at or beyond the age of retirement, the growing trend towards ‘Gray Divorce’ is affecting millennials writes Mary W. Quigley, in a recent AARP article. The post cites marriages ‘coming to an end’ rather than failing. One important issue brought up is the difficulty children have remaining neutral. There are some helpful links throughout the article including What Nobody Tells You About Being the Child of Divorce. We would second the notion that healthy boundaries and open communication are key to moving forward.

A How-To Guide To Surviving Infidelity

Clinical Psychologist Dr. Susan Heitler put together a list of 22 Ways Couples Can Survive Infidelity. It’s a great resource for opening lines of communication with a spouse. These steps are positive no matter the outcome of the discussion regarding infidelity. It’s a touchy subject, of course, but the list contains specifics and nuances beyond the typical “Do It Yourself” marriage/communication guides found in most articles. It’s rational and detailed enough to be of use for hurtful moments other than infidelity as well.

Is The 5 Second Rule Really a Thing?

Out final article on our link roundup ends on a lighter note. Many of us remember a sibling or school buddy teaching us the 5 Second Rule. Drop that Pop-Tart on the floor? No problem, just pick it up right away and off to the school bus you go! A study by Ashton University in the UK proves the five second rule is real. The study suggests that “time is a significant factor” in the transfer of bacteria. One interesting note is that carpet is less likely to transfer to food that is dropped and consumed in a short period of time As Professor Anthony Hilton states: “We have found evidence that transfer from indoor flooring surfaces is incredibly poor with carpet actually posing the lowest risk of bacterial transfer onto dropped food.” So go ahead and pickup that popcorn or pretzel you drop during your next Netflix binge, just do it quickly.

For couples who have tried to work out their relationship, but have decided that a divorce is the best way to proceed, they will find that there are several pieces of evidence that can be used against them once they go to court. Did you know that text messages are considered admissible evidence? This means that if one party loses his or her temper and texts the other party, the text messages may be used as evidence in court. In many cases, especially when children are involved, text messages can affect the final decision made by the Judge regarding time-sharing (custody), alimony, distribution of assets and debts, etc.

When you are going through a divorce, you must be aware of what you put in a text or email, as well as what you say to the other party in person or over the telephone. For this reason, we have a few tips to help you in making sure you do not put something in a text that can be used against you later in court. These tips also apply after you are divorced. The main goal of these tips is to keep you from impulsively saying something to your ex or soon to be ex that can come back and hurt you later.

4 Tips to Text your Soon to be Ex-Spouse

1. Always take the time to think about what you are texting, never send a text while you are feeling angry, hurt or frustrated. If this means stepping away from your phone for an hour or two to get your emotions under control, then do so.
2. If your ex is texting you rude, hateful, or nasty comments, be sure to keep the texts saved in your phone, and do not respond in a rude, hateful or nasty way. Do not engage in a back and forth argument via text message!
3. It is best to limit your texts with your ex to information about children, dates that need to be remembered and the like. There are some couples who text freely, but in these cases, the divorce is most often amicable and there are no emotional issues.
4. It is not only your texts to your ex that can be used against you in court, but any text that you send to anyone. Thus, avoid texting anything about your soon to be ex to anyone and basically keep the subject off limits.

Controlling your Emotions

Many lawyers recommend that clients simply stop texting the other party entirely and even that they stop posting to social media in general. If you are going to text, or put things out there on social media, make sure you are not saying anything that you would not want the Judge to see in court. Keeping your emotions under control is a must. While one of the above tips was to walk away and stop texting if you feel that your anger and emotions are getting out of hand, we have a few more in-depth tips that can help.

1. Try breathing exercises. Slowly count to 10 and be sure that you are taking deep breaths to help calm yourself while you are counting.
2. Take a moment to listen to a song that soothes you. You will be amazed at how well soothing music can calm emotions.
3. Take a walk and leave your phone at home. Physical exercise has been shown to be great when it comes to helping to release anger in a normal and healthy manner.
4. Go to your ‘happy place’ when you start to feel angry. This may mean sitting in your living room and imagining yourself sitting on the beach or even floating in the pool. Either way, allow this happy place to make you feel less angry.

For those who are going through a divorce, we want you to realize that your texts could become one of the main ways your soon to be ex gains the upper hand. Here at Norman Law, we advise our clients against texting their exes, unless they are positive that they can keep their calm. Divorce is not something to take lightly, but if it is unavoidable, then be sure you are taking actions to ensure you are getting a fair divorce.