A Compassionate Guide to Manage Social Media During Separation

Filing for a restraining order (injunction for protection) in Duval County was designed to be a straightforward process that does not require the assistance of an attorney. Injunctions for protection, commonly referred to as restraining orders are legal devices that can ultimately involve jail to protect individuals who have been victims of violence or are fearful of becoming a victim. Injunctions are issued when the court agrees that the person seeking the injunction is a victim of violence or reasonably believes he/she is in imminent danger of becoming a victim of violence. The court then restrains the other party from coming into contact with the victim and/or coming near the victim.

Filing a Petition for Injuntion at the Courthouse

In order to gain access to these protections you must go down to the courthouse and file a Petition for Injunction. The paperwork for the petition is fairly straightforward and in most cases does not require the assistance of an attorney. Staff at the courthouse can assist with completing the Petition for Injunction. The process is relatively ease so that people who cannot afford to hire an attorney can still seek protection from violence. That said, many people seeking an injunction do hire a family law attorney to assist them, either with the hearing on the Petition for Injunction or for a divorce case that is also needed.
There are four types of injunctions/restraining orders in Florida, issued for: domestic violence; dating violence; sexual violence; and repeat violence.

You will need to select which of these applies to you and complete the petition that applies to your situation.

· A domestic violence petition is used when you and the respondent have been living together as a family, whether married or not, or lived together as a family in the past, and/or if you have a child or children together.

· A dating violence petition is for those who have been dating but have not lived together within the last 6 months.

· A sexual violence petition is used for those who have been a victim of sexual assault or abuse (you are not required to file criminal charges).

· A repeat violence petition is for any of the other types of stalking or violence between friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc. In order for it to be considered repeat violence, there must be at least two incidents within the last six months.

What’s Included in the Petition Requirements?

The petition requires information like petitioner (you), the respondent (the individual you want restrained), addresses, place of employment, children’s names (if applicable), and a description of the respondent so that police may find him or her. There will also be a paragraph detailing the reasons why you are seeking the petition. It must be detailed, contain the nature of the relationship between you and the individual, and the date or dates of the incident(s). You must be as detailed as possible when explaining the situation because a judge will review the petition and decide whether or not to enter a Temporary Injunction based on this information.

Temporary Restraining Order Injunctions

After reviewing the petition, the judge may or may not grant the petition and enter a Temporary Injunction. A Temporary Injunction is just that – a temporary court order that sets out what the type of contact the respondent may or may not have with the petitioner. If the petition is granted on a temporary basis, the judge will then issue a Temporary Injunction against the respondent that will be in place for 14 days.

The judge will then set a hearing 14 days from the date the judge signs the Temporary Injunction, so that a full hearing can take place and both parties can testify and present evidence. The respondent will be served with a copy of the petition, along with the Temporary Injunction. Once he or she is served, the terms and conditions of the Temporary Injunction are in place and he or she must comply with them. If, however, the respondent cannot be located and served prior to the hearing, the temporary injunction will be extended for another 14 days. It is important to remember that the Temporary Injunction is not enforceable until the respondent has been served with it by law enforcement. That is why it is important to put the correct contact information for the respondent in the petition so that he or she can be found and served. Filing a restraining order in Jacksonville, for example, where there is a large population can be problematic, as it is sometimes difficult for police to easily locate the individual.

If the respondent is served with the petition and Temporary Injunction, you will need to use the 14 day period to prepare for the hearing. At this point, you may wish to hire an attorney to represent you at the hearing. Your attorney will help you better understand what you will need for the hearing. It is generally better to have everything/everyone you might need: witnesses; video evidence; phone records; text messages; social media posts; and anything else that would be evidence of abuse and violence. Your attorney knows the procedures needed to collect and verify evidence that the court will require and can prepare you and your witnesses to testify. Evidence must be presented which supports the allegations in the petition for injunction. Usually, the court will not want to hear “new” evidence or evidence other than what is contained in the petition for injunction, which is why it is so important to include everything in petition.

In general, the injunction procedure is very straightforward and completing and filing the petition can be done without an attorney. While it is not necessary to work with an attorney to file a petition for injunction in Duval County, you should strongly consider having an attorney representing you at the hearing after the Temporary Injunction is issued by the court. The outcome of the hearing is extremely important and can have a significant effect on your safety and well-being, so if you do not feel confident on your own then by all means seek help. When your life and the lives of your family members are at stake there is no reason not to ask for help.

For more information on how to file for an injunction directly in Duval County, please visit http://www2.duvalclerk.com/departments/domestic-violence/ or call the injunction clerk at (904) 255-2210.

For this or any other family law related question, please call my office at 904.306.9926 to schedule an appointment or contact us online.

For couples who have tried to work out their relationship, but have decided that a divorce is the best way to proceed, they will find that there are several pieces of evidence that can be used against them once they go to court. Did you know that text messages are considered admissible evidence? This means that if one party loses his or her temper and texts the other party, the text messages may be used as evidence in court. In many cases, especially when children are involved, text messages can affect the final decision made by the Judge regarding time-sharing (custody), alimony, distribution of assets and debts, etc.

When you are going through a divorce, you must be aware of what you put in a text or email, as well as what you say to the other party in person or over the telephone. For this reason, we have a few tips to help you in making sure you do not put something in a text that can be used against you later in court. These tips also apply after you are divorced. The main goal of these tips is to keep you from impulsively saying something to your ex or soon to be ex that can come back and hurt you later.

4 Tips to Text your Soon to be Ex-Spouse

1. Always take the time to think about what you are texting, never send a text while you are feeling angry, hurt or frustrated. If this means stepping away from your phone for an hour or two to get your emotions under control, then do so.
2. If your ex is texting you rude, hateful, or nasty comments, be sure to keep the texts saved in your phone, and do not respond in a rude, hateful or nasty way. Do not engage in a back and forth argument via text message!
3. It is best to limit your texts with your ex to information about children, dates that need to be remembered and the like. There are some couples who text freely, but in these cases, the divorce is most often amicable and there are no emotional issues.
4. It is not only your texts to your ex that can be used against you in court, but any text that you send to anyone. Thus, avoid texting anything about your soon to be ex to anyone and basically keep the subject off limits.

Controlling your Emotions

Many lawyers recommend that clients simply stop texting the other party entirely and even that they stop posting to social media in general. If you are going to text, or put things out there on social media, make sure you are not saying anything that you would not want the Judge to see in court. Keeping your emotions under control is a must. While one of the above tips was to walk away and stop texting if you feel that your anger and emotions are getting out of hand, we have a few more in-depth tips that can help.

1. Try breathing exercises. Slowly count to 10 and be sure that you are taking deep breaths to help calm yourself while you are counting.
2. Take a moment to listen to a song that soothes you. You will be amazed at how well soothing music can calm emotions.
3. Take a walk and leave your phone at home. Physical exercise has been shown to be great when it comes to helping to release anger in a normal and healthy manner.
4. Go to your ‘happy place’ when you start to feel angry. This may mean sitting in your living room and imagining yourself sitting on the beach or even floating in the pool. Either way, allow this happy place to make you feel less angry.

For those who are going through a divorce, we want you to realize that your texts could become one of the main ways your soon to be ex gains the upper hand. Here at Norman Law, we advise our clients against texting their exes, unless they are positive that they can keep their calm. Divorce is not something to take lightly, but if it is unavoidable, then be sure you are taking actions to ensure you are getting a fair divorce.

Once your divorce is final, you are no longer part of a couple and are now a single parent. This will bring about a lot of changes in your life, and you are going to notice some of these changes dramatically when you take your child or children on your first vacation as a single parent. It can be overwhelming when taking your first vacation as a single parent, but it is very doable and also allows you to have more one-on-one time with your children. The key to having a great vacation is to be organized and you will be able to relax and make it a great family vacation for all of you.

Get the Kids Involved With Vacation Plans

One of the main things that can make a vacation harder after a divorce is that it is painfully obvious to the children that they no longer have their parents together. This can make kids act out which in turn can make a vacation seem more like a nightmare. So what can you do? Involve the kids in the vacation as much as possible. You want them to feel as though they are an important part of the vacation, and this can help them cope better with the fact that their parents are no longer together.

Here are some ideas to help kids get involved with vacation plans:

• Let the kids help with navigation, whether this means letting one child be in charge of the navigator or letting one child look at the map
• Plan the route that you are taking together so that the kids feel like this is more than just a vacation that you have planned for them
• Allow the kids to help decide where you are stopping to eat, which will help them remember this vacation as one in which they played a big part
• Listen to the ideas the kids have about where they want to go and what they want to do. If they feel as though this is their vacation as well as yours, they are going to be happier in the long run

Acknowledge you are a Single Parent

It is not good to go into this vacation without acknowledging that you are a single parent now, so things are going to change. This is a new experience for you and for your children. While you are getting the kids involved to help them feel more comfortable with your vacation, also take the time to realize that the vacation is going to be different for you as well. Here are some ideas to keep in mind:

• You are going to be handling all the adult decisions from this point forward
• Make your vacation something that is not high stress, as you have enough stress to deal with as it is
• Reach out to other single parents for some advice and help if you feel as though this situation is getting out of hand

Getting a divorce and then parenting your children on your own is an adjustment. However, it is one which you can get through easier by involving the kids. It will take time, but in the end you will find that being single and happy with your children is much better for all of you than struggling and being unhappy in a marriage that is not working.

A divorce does not mean you are never going to see your ex again or will never be at the same events as your ex. In most cases, you will find that your ex and you run have the same circle of friends, have many interests and hobbies in common, and may have children together, too, so it is common to be at the events together. This can be difficult. Many ex-spouses are not sure how to handle being with their ex in a small, emotional ceremony such as a graduation or wedding. Should you avoid your ex? Should you talk to him or her? How much should you talk? Should you sit together? It is very common to feel a bit anxious and nervous about how to act in these situations.

4 Do’s for Attending an Event with your Ex

There are several things you should do in order to ensure that things go smoothly and as comfortably for all involved as possible. For example:

1. Have some light conversation topics and ideas that you can discuss with your ex to avoid any awkward silences or more emotional topics.
2. Be ready for questions about your divorce from other guests at the event who may not be aware of the separation or divorce.
3. If you are going to an event for a son or daughter, it is best if you sit together as a show of unified support for your child.
4. Engage in conversation with others so that you are not forced to talk with your ex if you are uncomfortable with this.

4 Don’ts for Attending an Event with your Ex

There are several things you should avoid doing at an event your ex is also attending. For example:

1. Do not drink too much while at these celebrations as you do not want to do something that you are going to regret. Wedding receptions often include alcohol as part of the celebration process. A drink or two at the party might help relieve some tension, but more could lead to unwanted emotions and outbursts.
2. Never start an argument with the ex. This means you must avoid any discussions you know are likely to upset or anger him or her. Keep things light and focus on the event and the celebration of the happy occasion.
3. Avoid being on your phone. This might seem counter-intuitive, but the temptation to remove yourself ‘mentally’ from the event might lead to feelings of alienation and trigger an argument.
4. Do not be surprised if your ex has someone special with them at the event, such as a new boyfriend/girlfriend. It is important to prepare yourself for this in advance so you do not react emotionally or cause a scene.

No matter how hard you try to avoid your ex, it is very likely that you will find yourself at the same events in the future, particularly if you have a child or children together. It is important that you keep your cool and do your part to make the event go as smoothly as possible. You do not want to take the spotlight away from the wedding or graduation being celebrated due to arguments, conflicts and anger towards an ex.

Alimony reform is again on the Governor’s desk in Florida. The bill made it out of the legislature and was sent to Governor Scott on Monday, April 4, 2016. The Governor has until April 19 to sign or veto the bill. This is the latest round in the attempt to change the alimony law in Florida.

The Arguments

Many are in support of the alimony law already in place in Florida. Those who receive alimony, such as those who have never had a career due to having to raise children or keep the home, believe the alimony law should not be changed. On the other hand, those who are paying alimony commonly feel they are being taken advantage of and should not have to financially support a former spouse for many years after the divorce. No matter what the other spouse may have done during their marriage, many alimony paying spouses feel that the alimony law forces them to pay too much money to the other party, and for too long.

The New Proposition

The legislation that is being considered by the Governor, if it becomes law, will significantly change the way alimony is determine in Florida. These new changes include:

• Judges will have guidelines to calculate the amount of alimony payments
• The length of time alimony will be paid will also be based on guideline calculations
• There will no longer be ‘lifetime’ alimony payments
• There will be new circumstances that will be considered to modify or terminate alimony payments
• There will be no guidelines for marriages that lasted more than 20 years, and judges are encouraged to equalize the incomes of the parties
• The bill also will include the premise that the parents should have 50-50 custody or time-sharing with their children

The new alimony provisions, if passed, will apply to all initial alimony determination cases and all alimony modification cases pending on or after October 1, 2016. However, the new provisions regarding modification of an existing alimony obligation would apply to all cases. The new 50-50 time-sharing premise would apply only to initial divorce or time-sharing cases filed on or after October 1, 2016.
Even if the proposed bill does not become law, the alimony reform effort in Florida will continue in the future. Many officials within Florida are stating that this new bill simply gives judges guidelines to determine the amount of alimony and how long it will be paid, and is fair to both parties. These people feel that the judges have too much discretion and power, and the decisions are not consistent, and vary from one divorce to the next.

The Family Law Section of the Florida Bar has come out publicly against this bill, primarily because it includes the 50-50 time-sharing premise. The Governor can sign the bill into law or veto it (as he did to the prior alimony reform bill in 2013).

Here at Norman Law, we are ready to take on these new aspects of divorce and alimony, and work for you. If you need help with a divorce, alimony, child support or any other family law issue, contact us today to get started!

Divorces can be very rough, and with Florida’s Mandatory (Financial) Disclosure rule, it can become even harder when there are things that parties are not interested in disclosing.

In this blog post, we will briefly cover how important the disclosure of financial records is in a divorce. It is vital that you provide the required financial documents when working with your divorce attorney throughout the proceedings. In order to provide you with the best advice, your divorce attorney must know everything about your marriage. This includes your finances, both separate from and together with your spouse. Of course you’ll also discuss other reasons (likely more obvious disclosures) the divorce may be taking place, and all issues that need to be addressed. The financial disclosure allows your attorney to review and analyze documents that provide more insight and gives your attorney a better understanding of your entire divorce case.

When Mandatory Disclosure is Not Needed?

In some cases, Mandatory Disclosure is not needed during a divorce. This is only applicable when the case is not being litigated in court and both parties are in agreement with the divorce (considered an Uncontested Divorce). However, even though the financial disclosures can be waived or otherwise not required, both parties must still fill out and file a Financial Affidavit that discloses detailed financial information. Under no circumstances can the Financial Affidavits be waived for a divorce proceeding, even when both parties are on board with filing for a divorce.

Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure

Mandatory Disclosure is found under the Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure. This Rule lists sixteen types of financial documents that must be provided and exchanged by both parties.
These include:

· Bank account statements
· Tax returns
· Pay stubs
· Pension plan statement
· Assets
· Debts

And the list continues. When a person first files a divorce case, he or she has have 45 days to provide the other party with the required financial information. The other party must also provide the required financial information within a specified time period. Parties can ask for an extension if needed. In most cases, if the person has a legitimate reason for the delay, an extension will be granted by the court.

The Reasoning Behind Mandatory Disclosure

Aside from helping your lawyer to better handle your case, providing the financial disclosure documents can lower the expense that is often associated with litigation. It also gives the court sufficient information to make a better informed financial decision for both parties. Though Mandatory Disclosure can seem rather invasive and gathering the documents may take some time, it is really in the best interest of both parties going through a divorce.

Wendy Norman works as a Divorce Attorney in Jacksonville, FL and welcomes comments or questions from readers. Please Contact Us online to setup an initial consultation or call 904.306.9926.

Within the state of Florida, there is a term called Equitable Distribution that is used in divorce proceedings. In short, Equitable Distribution means that possessions/assets and debts which came about during the marriage are divided as equally as possible between the parties getting a divorce. This can make it easier in one sense for a divorce; however, there are also problems that can arise.

In most cases, those who are going through a divorce are going to work with their lawyers in order to determine who gets what (distribution of assets and debts). In cases in which both parties want the same asset/assets or don’t want certain debt, it can come down to the judge making the decision as to who gets what.

Proven Adultery Can Impact Equitable Distribution

With this being said, many people wonder if infidelity can affect the equitable distribution of the marital assets and debts. Florida is considered a “no fault” divorce state. This means that people can get a divorce without proving why a divorce is needed or whose fault it is. In most cases, the person who wants the divorce simply states that the marriage is ‘irretrievably broken” and the divorce proceedings can continue. With this in place, and the equitable distribution rule, most parties believe that the marital assets and debts will be equally divided, no matter what. However, that is not always the case.

When one spouse does commit adultery, and it can be proven, it can affect the equitable distribution. When the adulterer in the relationship is using his or her money in order to buy their new boyfriend or girlfriend gifts, go on trips and the like, then this can be taken into consideration when dividing the assets and debts.

In some cases, if the financial actions of the cheating spouse affect the wife or husband, or children involved, then the court can give the adulterer less property and other assets, or make him or her responsible for more debt. The idea is that the adulterer has misused what should be marital funds and he or she should not be treated the same in the equitable distribution of the assets and debts because of his or her actions.

Alimony and Equitable Distribution

In addition, this type of situation can also affect whether one party receives alimony from the other or not even though Florida is a no-fault state. In most divorces, the equitable distribution goes through without a hitch, but it is important to note that in cases where adultery has affected the marital finances, it can become an issue during the divorce proceedings.

For those who are thinking about divorce and are concerned with Equitable Distribution, please contact us. Here at Norman Law, we are here for you and want to help you in any way we can with your divorce!

When parents are sharing custody of their child, it can make the holidays feel even more hectic. Timesharing during the holidays can be very stressful, and not just for the parents – often the stress and tension the parents feel is transferred to the children. This is why it is important to remember that the holidays should be about the children. Parents should do whatever is necessary to ensure that their children are not feeling the stress that has come from the parents no longer being together.
With this being said, there are several things you can do to ensure that everyone has a good holiday:
Make sure you have an agreed-upon schedule in place before the holidays. In most cases, the Court will have a recommended schedule for you to follow. Both parents should be following the schedule from the Court or agree on one together so that the children get just as much time with both parents and their families as possible.

Have you considered celebrating together? This is something many parents are able to do if their divorce was one in which feelings weren’t hurt, or when enough time has passed to allow both parents to heal. This can make the holidays much better for the children.

Don’t Force Your Kids Choose

Never make the children choose who they want to spend with during the holidays. It is not fair to them to make them choose, and it can cause bad feelings for everyone. Instead, work together to make sure the children get to see both parents equally.

Communication is Key to Scheduling the Holidays

Always check with each other to ensure that your plans with your family do not conflict with their plans. This can be a huge issue during the holidays. Communication between parents is the key.
As a parent, you need to realize that timesharing during the holidays is going to require both parents to compromise. You need to be flexible and realize that neither of you are going to get 100% of the time with the children.

When your kids are with the other parent, instead of feeling depressed and lonely, focus instead on your family and support system. Also, the holidays are stressful and it is important to have a little ‘me time’ whenever you can.

Consider New Traditions to Minimize Stress

Timesharing during the holidays can be complicated and stressful. It is important to understand that some of the traditions you enjoyed before the divorce may not be possible any more. However, you now get to create new traditions with your children and family that you will have for many years to come.

If you have questions related to Child Custody and Timesharing, Contact Jacksonville divorce attorney Wendy Norman at 904.306.9926.

When a divorce happens, feelings and emotions are high. However, when children are involved, it is important that the Court evaluate both parents and consider their mental health and ability to care for their children, and determine what is in the best interests of the children. The State of Florida no longer awards one parent custody of the children; instead, there are parenting plans which include timesharing schedules. One parent may have the children more than the other, or the parents may have equal time with the children. Because the Court must determine what timesharing schedule is in the best interests of the children, many times a social investigation will be performed.

The Basics of a Social Investigation and Child Custody

This type of investigation is usually performed by a mental health professional, one who has no prior relationship with either of the parties or the children. The Social Investigator is a neutral and impartial third party, thus his or her opinions and recommendations will carry great weight with the Court. The Social Investigator will evaluate both parents, including their lifestyles, and make a recommendation as to which parent the children would be better off spending more of their time with, or if the children should spend equal time with the parents. The Social Investigator will outline all of his or her findings and recommendations in a report that is presented to the Court. In addition, he or she will submit a proposed parenting plan that best fits the needs of the children.

Assessments during a Social Investigation and Parenting Plans

During a social investigation many things will be considered and reviewed by the Social Investigator, including the following:

• Background checks, checks of police records and the like concerning both parents
• Interviews with the children are conducted
• Interviews with both parents
• Character references submitted by both parents are interviewed
• Doctors, employers, and other professionals are interviewed about the parents and children

Once these assessments are made, the report and parenting plan are then drawn up, and include findings and recommendations by the Social Investigator.

How this Affects Timesharing Agreement

Since the social investigation is such a huge component of the parenting plan and timesharing schedule, the findings and recommendations of the Social Investigator will have a huge effect on the final timeshare plan. In most cases, the Court agrees with the Social Investigator and implements the recommended parenting plan and timesharing schedule.
For those who are going through a divorce or who are arranging a timesharing schedule, Wendy Norman is a family attorney who has been practicing in the Jacksonville area for over 15 years. She has had many cases involving social investigations and can help you prepare for what is to come. Simply give her a call today to discuss your case!