Tips on Attending a Graduation or Wedding with your Ex
A divorce does not mean you are never going to see your ex again or will never be at the same events as your ex. In most cases, you will find that your ex and you run have the same circle of friends, have many interests and hobbies in common, and may have children together, too, so it is common to be at the events together. This can be difficult. Many ex-spouses are not sure how to handle being with their ex in a small, emotional ceremony such as a graduation or wedding. Should you avoid your ex? Should you talk to him or her? How much should you talk? Should you sit together? It is very common to feel a bit anxious and nervous about how to act in these situations.
4 Do’s for Attending an Event with your Ex
There are several things you should do in order to ensure that things go smoothly and as comfortably for all involved as possible. For example:
- Have some light conversation topics and ideas that you can discuss with your ex to avoid any awkward silences or more emotional topics.
- Be ready for questions about your divorce from other guests at the event who may not be aware of the separation or divorce.
- If you are going to an event for a son or daughter, it is best if you sit together as a show of unified support for your child.
- Engage in conversation with others so that you are not forced to talk with your ex if you are uncomfortable with this.
4 Don’ts for Attending an Event with your Ex
There are several things you should avoid doing at an event your ex is also attending. For example:
- Do not drink too much while at these celebrations as you do not want to do something that you are going to regret. Wedding receptions often include alcohol as part of the celebration process. A drink or two at the party might help relieve some tension, but more could lead to unwanted emotions and outbursts.
- Never start an argument with the ex. This means you must avoid any discussions you know are likely to upset or anger him or her. Keep things light and focus on the event and the celebration of the happy occasion.
- Avoid being on your phone. This might seem counter-intuitive, but the temptation to remove yourself ‘mentally’ from the event might lead to feelings of alienation and trigger an argument.
- Do not be surprised if your ex has someone special with them at the event, such as a new boyfriend/girlfriend. It is important to prepare yourself for this in advance so you do not react emotionally or cause a scene.
No matter how hard you try to avoid your ex, it is very likely that you will find yourself at the same events in the future, particularly if you have a child or children together. It is important that you keep your cool and do your part to make the event go as smoothly as possible. You do not want to take the spotlight away from the wedding or graduation being celebrated due to arguments, conflicts and anger towards an ex.